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How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall? Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Russell, Awesome, Lane" journal:

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April 14th, 2011
07:26 pm

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Katamari Fun For All!
javascript:var i,s,ss=['http://kathack.com/js/kh.js','http://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.5.1/jquery.min.js'];for(i=0;i!=ss.length;i++){s=document.createElement('script');s.src=ss[i];document.body.appendChild(s);}void(0);

Copy and paste this url into the location bar on any site!

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August 26th, 2009
11:43 pm

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I'm starting to hate this word -
LITERALLY

* Main Entry: lit·er·al·ly
* Pronunciation: \ˈli-tə-rə-lē, ˈli-trə-lē, ˈli-tər-lē\
* Function: adverb
* Date: 1533

1 : in a literal sense or manner : actually (took the remark literally) (was literally insane)
2 : in effect : virtually (will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice — Norman Cousins)

Usage: Since some people take sense 2 to be the opposite of sense 1, it has been frequently criticized as a misuse. Instead, the use is pure hyperbole intended to gain emphasis, but it often appears in contexts where no additional emphasis is necessary.

Current Music: Goldfrapp - Happiness

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May 23rd, 2009
03:27 am

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I'm so glad that I made it through!
I was at my friend's house and I had a couple of drinks - I wasn't alright to drive (more tired than drunk at this point) so I took her bike home. Within a block of my house, I see that my shadow is blinking left then right then back again. I hear a lady's voice on an intercom say
"dismount your bike!"
I do what the voice says.

A lady cop comes out and says "Without pulling out your wallet, you have an ID?" I say "I do" but do my hand goes to my back pocket (out of habit). She says
"I asked you not to pull out your ID! It's in your back left pocket?"
Yes, I say. She tells me to follow a pen around and asks me if I have been drinking. I tell her that I have had a few beers and that I shouldn't drive after having even one. She asks me my address and my social, I tell her "1429 Adams and 621-__-____".
She asks me again, I give the same answer.
She says "I pulled you over 'cause you don't have a back light" -
I point out that I do; she says that she couldn't see it because it was blocked by the tire and that I could be run over by a drunk person.
"Do you have any tattoos?" she asks,
I say No and proceed to show her that I have none
"that won't be necessary" she says.
Then she makes note that I'm dressed in black and asks
"Have you ever been arrested before?" I say no (because I haven't).

She tells me that taking a bike is the wise choice and that I shouldn't be behind the wheel of a car - where I could hurt someone.
"I'm not going to write you a ticket", she says. "You made the right choice". "How long will it take you to get home?" I say less than a minute, would you like me to walk my bike?" I ask
"however you can get home fastest" she says.

Current Location: HOME!
Current Music: Brian Eno " 1/2"

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May 19th, 2009
11:21 pm

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It Has Been a While, Hasn't it?
I got a job about six weeks ago at LensCrafters. In six weeks, I have gotten a pay raise that makes my pay-rate higher than what I'm making at Barnes & Noble... I have worked at Barnes & Noble for 18 months.

Lame.

The B&N people keep asking if I like my new job and the reason I'm not getting any hours is that my availability has changed and they cannot work around it. If 3:00pm is the latest I can work then I don't need to work 6:00am to 9:00am, that is bullshit.

Whatever.

I need to quit B&N but I want to let them down gently. I've never quit a job before: Does anyone have any suggestions for how to do it?

That aside: I was outside LensCrafters on a break, minding my own and smoking a cigarette and there is this woman walking in the parking lot and she sets her leg on the curb, looks down at her leg and starts yelling at the top of her lungs "Get the fuck out of my knee, you son of a bitch! Jesus Christ, you mother fucker, I don't want you here anymore! Fuck! Jesus Christ!". I'm Watching her this whole time, she finally stops and looks up at me and then I look away. She walks towards me but just passes by. She wasn't walking with a limp at all, though. She gets down to The Macaroni Grill and then does it AGAIN!

On a related note - Has anyone read the book "The Glass Castle"? it's good.

Read it!

Current Music: Magnetic Fields "I wish I Had an Evil Twin"

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March 4th, 2009
04:24 pm

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Final Project. Why is This so Funny?
~ Il y a un garçon. Il habite dans la maison avec son chat et son chien. Ils sont heureux ensemble.

~ Le garçon s’appelle Marc. Il aime jouer avec des insectes dans la saleté, lire un livre et il va à la plage

~ Le chat de Marc s’appelle Jason. Il aime boire du lait, regarder la télé et dormir dans le réfrigérateur. Pendant le week-end il va à l'université, il étudie pour être un docteur.

~ Le chien de Marc s’appelle Eric. Il va à l’école avec Marc pendant la semaine. Il attend longtemps. Quelquefois, il mange les insectes de Marc. Marc n’aime pas ceci.

~ Un jour, les trois décident de manger le petit déjeuner au parc. Ils mangent des sandwiches et de la soupe. La nourriture est très bonne.

~ Après le parc, ils sont allés à la ville faire du shopping. Ils sont dans l’autobus. Le voyage a pris trois heures. Ils ont dormi pendant le voyage.

~ Ont couru à travers la ville. Ils sont allés à la pâtisserie, Eric a mangé tout à la pâtisserie. Il a vomi devant tout le monde. Ils sont désolés et ont couru à la maison.


~Ils ne sont pas allés à la ville après ce jour.

Current Music: Brett Smiley - Solitare

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February 10th, 2009
12:42 pm

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Oh yeah, this too.
Photobucket

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10:55 am

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S-A-T-U-R--D-A-Y NIGHT!



It's a Sparks show.

All of Kimono My House and Exotic Creatures of the Deep!!!

Guess who's going - ME! That's who!

Current Music: Sparks "Katherine Hepburn"

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October 26th, 2008
11:00 pm

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It's That Time Again!
Halloween is upon us and I would like to know what we are going to be?

This is my favorite holiday - Easter can suck it!

I'm going to be Klaus Nomi He's the one responsible for new-wave music.

See Also:



Current Music: Nomi Song

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October 19th, 2008
09:45 pm

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DJing for the Very Rich
My new found friend Navy Nate asked me early this week if I could help him DJ at a house party. Me, having never played records outside of my house, said yes - who wouldn't? I ask him why there needs to be a DJ or even two and he says that he doesn't know. I ask him whos house this is going to be at and he says that it's his ex girlfriend's co-worker (makes sense I guess). I learned that the very wealthy, no matter how big of douchebags they are, know how to throw a party. They had a ridiculous amount of alcohol, a keg, and a man making all sorts of sushi. They were serving surf and turf sushi LOBSTER AND FILLET.

It soon becomes too dewey outside to play anymore and we pack up. Navy Nate gets paid some ungodly amount for DJing - instead of paying me some cut of that money for my help, he offers to take me on a walking tour of all the bars in Carlsbad.

I should have taken the money.

Someone else is buying and won't take no for an answer = Trouble for Russell.

I made a mess of/in my room. Thinking that a banana would help my tummy, I eat half of it then all of a sudden, everything from the night comes back. I woke up today not with a physical hangover but a giant bruise on my pride and sense of self-respect.


Moral of the story is "be yourself".

Current Music: Marianne Faithfull "Why D'ya Do It?"

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September 16th, 2008
11:44 pm

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What's the difference between a raven and a writing desk?
yum

I bought a can of this today, not only does it not work (which we all could have foreseen), but it tastes like those air-borne effervescent tabs disolved in sprite - gross.

In retrospect, I'm glad nothing happened - I mean, what if it found it's way to another part of my body, like one of my eyes and made "that part" gigantic?

Current Music: Pulp - "Help The Aged"

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